What Others Are Saying About Elena Rahrig & This Book

“Contained within these pages is a profound and insightful text for the seeker of truth! As you travel down this adventurous road of thoughts, you will be able to see where you are and where your exciting destination awaits you. Are You Boxed In? is a wonderful journey of self-examination into the reasons we respond the way we do.”

                                                       — Patrick Snow    International Best-Selling Author of
Creating Your Own Destiny and Boy Entrepreneur

“Are You Boxed In? offers the revolutionary suggestion that it is no longer about just thinking outside of the box, but we need to crush the box completely. Elena asks us to discover whether we are a Peeper, Flipper, Inspector, or Warrior. Only the Warrior succeeds in leaving the confining box behind. Elena teaches us how to determine who we want to be and learn how to become Warriors, while keeping God in the process, and also what’s important in life in perspective. It’s time to crush the box!”

                                                  — Tyler R. Tichelaar
Ph.D., and award-winning author of Narrow Lives and Arthur’s Legacy

This powerful and practical book guides you to   change the mindset attitudes that hold you back and block your success. Follow its simple strategies to transform your life.”

                        — Susan Friedmann, CSP
International best-selling author of
Riches in Niches: How to Make it BIG in a small Market

“I found so much strength within myself with Are You Boxed IN? The book has helped me realize what it means to be a Warrior, be significant, and to be the light in this world. I never realized how close I was to becoming a Warrior or what steps I needed to take to get myself there. This is an amazing and inspiring book to read!”

                                                                                                                               — Lea Purk

“Thank you, Father God, for putting Elena into our lives. Elena has let her past determine her future. She uses her past to comfort the broken-hearted and set the captives free. I have always been totally comfortable and at ease with sharing fears or difficult and sometimes prideful situations with her. She has never judged me, but instead, has loved me. I always thought I had to be a leader to be a warrior. How wrong I was. Through this book, Elena has explained for me in great detail how to be a Warrior and to live the life God intended me to live. If you want to find true happiness in a difficult world, peruse the pages of this book. Easy and fantastic reading.”

                                                                          — Patricia Webb

“This woman amazes me! Thank God for placing her in my path when He did. It all happened early on before some major changes in my life, and then BAM! He sent her back my way…my Elena angel. She helped me through some very dark moments so we all know it was for a reason! Keep me inspired, my dear! You have truly impacted my life!”

                                                                       — Tracey Willoughby

“This book is very uplifting and so truthful. Elena, I love the way you speak from your heart and put into powerful words how we all feel. I relate to your book, and I know it will be on the best-seller list.”

                         — Barb Mesker

Introduction
WHY?

Have you ever set goals? Have you said, “I hope I meet my goal,” or “I wish to meet my goal,” or even perhaps the worst one yet: “I will try to meet my goal”? Have you ever set a goal and not reached it?

Here is just one more “Have you ever…” question for you: Have you ever thought, or perhaps even said, that if only you would reach your goal, you would see some change in your life? I am guessing you are similar to the masses and have indeed said or thought this. I know I have. I used to set goals often, and more times than not, I never achieved them. So here is what I have learned and am still mastering.

If we think that change comes when we meet our goals, we are utilizing an oxymoron belief. Because the truth is that we cannot meet our goals unless we first change.

One of the most important lessons I am learning in business is to never put the cart before the horse. When we try to meet a goal without first changing, we are doing just that. If we don’t first change our self, then reaching our goals will never happen.

Once we take the proper steps to obtain growth in our lives, then we will see ourselves crossing the finish line, ultimately achieving our goals. From there, we can begin to set new goals that will take us to yet another level of independence and success, thus entering into a state of a newfound self-worth based on hard work and perseverance—beaming out of us from a state of self-reflection and humility, and always being proud of who we are, yet never prideful!

Proverbs 16:18
Pride goes before destruction,
and haughtiness before a fall.

Before we go any further, I want to explain a little about the program for you. Five years of speaking to audiences about specific products and business opportunities led me here, speaking from my spirit (God’s heart), writing books, and leading others to define and fulfill their own individual purposes. Although I have known since a young age that this calling was right where God wanted me, I never knew the message He would lay on my heart to bring to you—His children.

As a result of my experience in speaking to diverse audiences about products and business opportunities, I began to notice the different levels of security within people. At first glance, I thought these security levels were because of personality types. However, when I grew to understand conditioning, I recognized that security levels are caused by conditioned behaviors.

After I would give a presentation, some people would respond with a show of trust, while others…not so much. Some were excited and obvious leaders. They were fired up and ready to get started—even thanking me afterwards for sharing with them an opportunity that would change their lives by fulfilling their dreams of financial freedom. Meanwhile, some had the attitude of: “Well…if you’ll do it, then I’ll do it, too.” Furthermore, some had an extremely negative attitude: criticizing, rejecting, judging, even mocking, and showing lack of belief—not just in the opportunity, but also in the people who were excited about it. Then there were some people who bolted for the door, hoping not to be seen or talked to, and even praying that nobody would contact them afterwards.

The more I noticed these behaviors, the more my curiosity grew. I desired to understand the “Why?”

• Why are people like this?
• Why can’t they see the bigger picture?
• Why do they allow themselves to become stuck?
• Why are they so unhappy?
• Why do they lack belief?

Due to my curiosity, I began to study all the aspects of the “Why?” My first step was to pinpoint the different responses. Once that was done, I began to look into the personality types, only to find that these responses had nothing to do with the personality types at all, but everything to do with the way each individual had been conditioned throughout his or her life.

It wasn’t long before I understood the concept of conditioning and I became able to identify each response with a security level. Then I proceeded to give each level a name that accurately coincided with it.

Conditioning begins the moment we are born. It is what becomes part of our thought process, through what we hear, see, experience, and even what we have been taught. It sets the tone for how we perceive situations or circumstances, and how we begin to react or respond to them.

“Anything that has been conditioned
can be unconditioned.”
– Elena Rahrig

The “4 Box Security Levels” concept, which is the focus of Part One of this book, was just the first insight that I was led to by God. Once these levels were established, more questions came to me:

• How can I help people “recondition” their thinking?
• How can I get them to see themselves the way God sees them?
• How can I show them what God meant for their lives?
• How can I teach them to change their mindsets?
• How can I instill belief in them?

How can I help them understand the importance of crushing the boxes in which they live, and begin living up to the Kingdom’s standards, instead of the world’s?

I knew the only way to answer these questions was to peer into my own life. My past. My circumstances. My situations. To ask myself, “How did I get to where I am today?” However, I realized that although I stand where I stand today, there are still obstacles that I too am overcoming. While I am still overcoming these obstacles, I can also see my future as though I have already overcome them. So, is that the explanation? Is my belief level so high that I know although I may have flaws today, I won’t have these flaws tomorrow or someday soon? Is that belief level the result of my trust in God? Is it that I hold God to His word? Yes, I believe it is all of that, yet there is still more to it.

One winter night, as I sat talking with my husband about how I could help people, God began to flood my brain with ideas. I cannot begin to describe this miraculous moment to give it the proper credit it deserves. The solutions came to me so quickly that I couldn’t grab a paper and pen fast enough. Ultimately, I found myself with a surprised husband after work the next day, when he came home to find our bedroom wall painted in chalkboard paint, covered with scribbles of what was flooding my thoughts. It was in that moment that I first saw the outline for Your 5D Transformation System—the “Achievement” part of the entire Transform System, which I’ll explain in Part Two.

More recently, I have realized that the Transform structure has what I call the “3A Objective.” The “4 Box Security Levels” I described above are the Awareness objective. Awareness is crucial because if you are not self-reflecting and made aware of how you are acting, you will never know that you need to change, and therefore, you will remain complacent. Once you are aware that you need to change, Your 5D Transformation System, assist you in doing so. It is with this system, you will learn to overcome in order to become.

There is much more I could tell you about this system and how it evolved, but one step at a time. What matters for you is not how it evolved, but whether it works to bring you the results you want. In this book, you will learn about each “Box Security Level” so you can become aware of which one you are acting in, and perhaps even be enlightened to how you were conditioned to think as you do. Once you are aware of these truths, I will introduce you to Your 5D Transformation System; thus allowing you to step outside your box and leave it behind you. After you understand Your 5D Transformation System, I invite you to dive deeper into it. Your 5D Transformation System is packaged with 25 videos and a workbook. When the time comes, just visit my website www.ETransformInternational.com for more information. But for now, let’s figure out which Security Level you’re at so you can get started. It’s time to crush your box!

CONTENT

Introduction ‘Why?’
PART ONE: 4 BOX SECURITY LEVELS
Chapter 1: Are You a Warrior?
Chapter 2: Building the Walls
Chapter 3: Are You a Peeper?
Chapter 4: Are You a Flipper?
Chapter 5: Are You an Inspector?
Chapter 6: Leaving the Box
PART TWO: YOUR 5D TRANSFORMATION SYSTEM
Chapter 7: Introduction
Chapter 8: Determining Who You Are
Chapter 9: Divorcing Your Fears
Chapter 10: Discovering Your Capabilities
Chapter 11: Developing a Significant Life
Chapter 12: Defining Your Purpose
APPENDICES:
Appendix A: 100 Things I Love
Appendix B: 100 Things I Hate
Appendix C: The Best of Wisdom from Proverbs
About the Author
What’s Next?

PREFACE

Transform International began in 2013 as a company focused on the wellbeing of others through inspiration, motivation, and personal development. As the Founder, Elena Rahrig designed, created, and developed programs that began to reach the prison and school systems. From there, those who completed her programs received the intended results of trans-forming their lives and defining their purpose in life.

Although those who took the programs defined their purpose, they did not know how to fulfill their purpose. Therefore, Elena began solidifying a variety of business academies that were certain to help anyone who desired to become a CEO.

What began as a Public Speaking career, trans-formed into authorship, mentoring, and consulting thousands of people from around the globe. Today, Transform International’s greatest impact is through its mastermind group, Transform Mastermind.

Having the heart to help everyone, no matter their budget, Elena vowed to keep her mastermind affordable for everyone. Comparable to the investment of a Friday night pizza and a case of Pepsi, anyone with integrity and determination to create, build, and sus-tain an Empire can become a member.

As Transform Mastermind continues to grow in six countries, Elena remains open minded and seeks more ways to help more than she already has helped others. It is for that reason, and her passion and visions this book has been written.

Each Author of this book desires to share their wis-dom to mentor those who are in need of enhancing their life and developing CEO skills. Furthermore, it is the Transform Mastermind family’s ambition and passion to create a new volume of The CEO’s Playbook each year, with new lessons that are sure to continue to assist others in transforming their business into an Empire. So, be sure to keep your eyes open each year for more impactful insights.

FOREWORD

The Authors of this book are members of the Transform Mastermind family and are creating, building, and sustaining their Empires. Just like you, they have been on the roller coaster of entrepreneurship. It is now their desire to help you off your roller coaster and assist you in developing your own Empire.

Many of these Authors have grown their business on a national level, and some on an international level. Achieving much more than many entrepreneurs, the writers of this book have spoken on stages to hundreds, authored their own books, built a large clientbase, developed programs and academies, and assisted others in their success. Moreover, they have proven themselves as thought leaders of the world as they mentor the masses.

It is a fact that when your personal life suffers, your business will suffer—and vice versa. In this book, you will gain vital insights to enhance your personal life, preparing you for success. In the second part of this book, you will obtain step by step instructions through some of the most intrinsic details of building your Empire.

The Transform Mastermind family knows that when you apply what is taught in this book, you will experience major advancements. Furthermore, you will surely be on your way to transforming your business into an Empire, and from an entrepreneur into a CEO!

Brian Frobase
Author of Grandpa’s Garden
Public Speaker & Mentor

INTRODUCTION

According to Small Business Trends, over 50% of small businesses fail in the first four years. In fact, in 2011 only 4% made it to year two. Out of that 4%, only 3% made it to year three; and out of that 3%, 9% made it to year four. Finally, out of that 9% only 3% made it to year five. The leading cause of this downfall is incompetence, lack of managerial experience, neglect, fraud, disaster, cashflow problems, and overall lack of experience.

Do you see yourself struggling in any of the areas that are commonly known for the downfall of entrepreneurs? Do you often worry if you will be on the failing side of the statistics? Are you frustrated or worrisome more than you are excited? Are you tired of paying thousands of dollars for help to transform your struggling business into a prosperous Empire?

We understand how you feel. Every single Author of this book has been right where you are. We have been on the roller coaster of feast to famine, have thought about giving up on our dreams, and have been exasperated by spending thousands upon thousands of dollars to obtain the help needed.

In this book, you will learn from each Empire Creator who wrote a chapter and will also receive written exercises to immediately apply what you learn. Each Author chose a topic that they know you need, and each has provided you with valuable tips and tools you must apply to be successful. You will learn personal development and business techniques because when your personal life suffers, your business will suffer. Most importantly, when your business suffers, you will either quit or continue to struggle, never truly creating your Empire.

So, why are we the ones to teach you? There is a vast difference between advice versus counsel. Advice is what you receive when you ask an opinion from someone who lacks experience and knowledge. Alternatively, counsel is what you receive when you ask for facts from those who have succeeded in what you want to accomplish. Each person who was chosen to write a chapter in this book has been there and done that. Meaning, they wrote their chapter to give you the best counsel you will ever find…for a fraction of its worth.

We understand that you have a burning desire in your heart to win, and win big. We understand that you have a passion to inspire, motivate, impact, and influence those around you. We also understand that your journey as an CEO has its ups and downs. Rest assured, we are here for you. This book is to help ease your stress by knowing what to do and following precise action steps.

“Together We Rise” is one of Transform International’s slogans that we, not only say, but live by daily. It is vital to your success to know that we are here for you and are eager to witness you raise up your Empire. Along your journey, if you read a chapter and feel stuck, be sure to reach out to the Author. You will find their contact information at the back of this book. Alternatively, you can email our team at: Info@TransformMastermind.com.

Are you ready to advance to your next level? Are you ready to connect, collaborate, and conquer with the Authors of this book? Are you ready to transform from an entrepreneur into an CEO? Are you ready to transform your business into an Empire? Hypothesizing you said, “Yes!” it is time to grab a cozy blanket and a pen, sit back with a cup-of-joe, lick your finger, and turn the page.

Elena Rahrig
Founding CEO of Transform International
ETransformInternational.com
TransformPublish.com
TransformMastermind.com

OPENING STATEMENT

What made you decide to become an entrepreneur? Why do you call yourself an entrepreneur? Why do you continue to work towards becoming a successful entrepreneur? If you are like me, then your answers to these questions run wide and deep. We will address some of these core reasons in chapter one; but for now, allow me to share with you my unique story as to how I became an entrepreneur.

When I was twelve-years-old, my mom and dad (in their infinite wisdom and ambition) began paying me to read books. These were not books about romance, vampires, or mystery; instead, they were books that taught about life, business, and spirituality.

The first book my parents had ever handed me to read was presented to me with a highlighter and a pen. They then instructed me to highlight all that aroused my attention and write in the margins anything that provoked a question or thought. Above that, they handed me a notebook to write summaries about each book I would read.

I forget the name of the first book, but it was navy blue with gold writing on the cover, and it was a booklet. At the age of twelve, I was less than thrilled about this idea of theirs; however, I obliged my parents because I wanted the $20 at the end of the last chapter.

Opening that book and reading the words on the pages, I tried desperately to combine the words into a sentence that I could comprehend. I had very little luck at this, as I became frustrated, pissed off, and thinking my parents were morons for wanting me to read such crap—it was not anything like the Nancy Drew books I was accustomed to.

I had no idea what this business Author was trying to say to me. It was 1994 when I was twelve-years-old, and I did not even know what a business logo was, let alone what an LLC, Sole Proprietor, C Corp, Incorporated, or a Nonprofit was. This book was merely speaking all types of jibberish.

Having had enough, I went to dad (who sat reading the best of Robert Kiyosaki) with a cockeyed head, a knee bent, annoyance on my face, and a predictable preteen mouth. He needed to understand that I had no clue what this all means and that this is all a waste of time. Couldn’t he just give me $20 like he always had before?

Of course, dad was not going to force me to read the book, but he sure-as-heck was not going to give me the $20 unless I did. Think about this, in 1994 $20 was more like $50 in today’s age. This book was about 75 pages in length, divide that by $20, that is more than twenty-five cents per page—that is a lot to a twelve-year-old in 1994. I could buy an entire outfit for that—jeans, a shirt, and earrings.

Well, that one book was the beginning of my entrepreneurial training. From that one book, I went on to read (or listen to) hundreds of books. Joyce Meyer’s books became my favorite; and at about thirteen years of age, I knew that someday I would be just like her. I would write books and speak to motivate, educate, and inspire.

Throughout my adolescence, my parents were both entrepreneurs, along with my aunts and uncles, and older brothers. It was at the same time my dad began paying me to read books that he and my mom ventured outside their brick and mortar corporation and joined Amway—yes, that is correct, good old Amway! Of course, my dad being a man who can sell ketchup popsicles to a man wearing white gloves, and my mom who had an eye for detail and business intelligence, they were extremely successful in everything they touched.

Having spent my teen years traveling with them to conferences throughout the nation, I was naively being impacted by the lives and words of millionaires. I was a typical child who watched and mimicked those around me. (I sure am happy that those around me were Empire Creators!)

Although I was to stay back in the hotel room and pool area with the other kids attending the conferences with their parents, I could not help but sneak into the massive conference center to see the excitement. There were tons of people, fun music and dancing, and worldclass speakers teaching and motivating 10,000-20,000 people. Mom and dad always saved me a seat because they knew I would be in and out, as I could not stay away for too long.

By the time I was eighteen, business is all I knew— entrepreneurship was in my blood. So, I did what I knew to do—join the network marketing company of the era—Mona Vie. Surely enough, I did okay at it and was earning a couple of thousand dollars a week. Over the years, moving onto the next popular network marketing company, I became the number one earner and found myself traveling the nation as one of the speakers on the stage.

So, you see, being an entrepreneur just seemed to happen for me. I never really sat back and thought too much about it. I did not turn to entrepreneurship because I was burned out from a nine-to-five job.

It was during the days of network marketing when I was reaching my thirties and sitting at the number three earner of the company when I realized I had been building someone else’s Empire. Sure, I was getting paid great residuals and had an amazing lifestyle, but imagine what I could do with my own Empire?

Well, my friend, that is why I am here now. Over the span of six years, I have built an Empire that continues to flourish. Knowing all that I was taught, and seeing the results of my wisdom, I would not dream about keeping it all to myself, as that would be selfish. Instead, I share my knowledge and wisdom with anyone who cares as much about their dream as I do about their dream.

I bid you fair warning, being an Empire Creator is not easy. You will more than likely cry, hate yourself at times, doubt yourself almost daily, consider believing the naysayers, feel foolish, and desire to quit. In fact, many do quit, because Empires are not for the weak minded, and they are certainly not for those who want a quick and easy ride.

In today’s society, it is a fact that there are more people who are weak minded than there are strongminded—those whom I call and consider Warriors. Knowing the cold, hard truth about Empire Creators, if you believe you have what it takes to make it, then let’s move forward and get you started on the right track of transforming your business into the Empire you genuinely want to have.

In the next section, you will see that I have created a chart for you as a quick reference guide to some of the main contrast between a Business Owner and an Empire Creator. This will help you become more aware of what we do here at Transform International to help entrepreneurs, and what this book is about to do for you!

CONTENT

Preface
Foreword
Introduction
Opening Statement
Business Owner  vs.  Empire Creator
Your One Thing
The Confident CEO
Getting Ten Steps Ahead
The Fearless CEO
Journaling Your Way to Success
When Your Personal Life Suffers,  Your Empire Suffers
PART TWO
Developing Your Business Plan
Branding Your Empire
Turning Others On
Mingle Your Way to Millions
Speaking Your Way to Success
Creating Copy
Planning Your Event
Building Meaningful Relationships
The Happiest CEO is the  Most Successful CEO
Living Healthy as a CEO
The Final Note
Epilogue
What’s Next?
Transform Mastermind Offerings
About the Project Manager
About the Authors
About Transform International’s Founding CEO, Elena Rahrig

What Others Are Saying About Elena Rahrig & This Book

“As I read the book there were many times I wanted to yell out, “No Elena Don’t!” There were times I became angry of how she was dismissed with her dreams and used by so many!  There were other times I wanted to reach into the pages and say, “He is the answer;” with the He being referenced as a blend between God and her now husband Doug. If nothing else, take her by the hand and lead her. We have been blessed in that Elena has done what many of us have the power to do with similar ener-gy. Elena has made it through and been an inspirational motivator to many. Read this book of survival of the spirit-ually fittest; and follow.”

                                                                        Jack Hammill

“Loved how raw and real Elena was in sharing her life as a backsliding Christian. The emotion that she, not only experienced, but captured for us all to feel and relate to touched my soul and made me realize I am not alone and I too can conquer my past.”

                                                                              Lea Purk

“As I read Tangled and Tormented I found myself saying, “This is the last chapter and I am going to bed.” However, I found myself not being able to put it down. Elena’s story is very relatable, as I too have had my own struggles and things I had done in my life where I wondered why I was living that way and why I kept making the same bad choices. My biggest struggle, just like Elena, was wonder-ing Who am I?  It was so enlightening to read about some-one, such as Elena, who has so much to offer this world, yet had trouble finding her place. At the end, I loved how Elena was able to overcome her past and stand today as a conqueror.”

                                                                         Beth Lybarger

“Love this book. The chapter titles alone intrigued me to read on. The introduction gave me hope that I too can become a conqueror of my past and allow God to use my life for what He created me for. As Elena had, I too have struggled with anger issues and am learning that God wants us to conqueror our past so that we can live for Him. Elena is an excellent example of this. Her story gives people hope that they too can let go of their past and push towards a better and brighter future. I love her husband’s heart and he is an excellent example for many men. Thank you for holding out Doug.”

                                                                              Pat Webb

FOREWORD

New Book Chronicles
One Woman’s Path from Pain to
Fulfilling God’s Promise

Elena is a phenomenal public speaker and the creat-or of the Transform programs and academies. She has authored other self-help books, including Are You Boxed In? about how we all need, not only to think outside of the box, but to climb out of it and crush it. Until now, only those closest to her knew just how messy her life has been at times. In her new memoir, Tangled and Tormented, Elena offers a surprising, honest, and introspective look at her life. Her purpose in telling her own story is not to shock, not to sell books through sensationalism, and not to degrade herself. Rather, it’s to testify to the power of God, and how He works in mysterious ways to mold us into the amazing people He meant for us to be.

Early on, Elena tells us: “You, the reader, will exper-ience all my tangles and torments with me as you lick your finger and turn the pages. My desire is that, in the end, you will see my triumph. It was during one of my darkest, most painful nights that I prayed the prayer of helplessness that so many of us say, “God, where are you?” In that moment, I saw myself in the pits of a dried up stone well sitting in my own dark misery. I looked up and saw Jesus’ lit face and His hand reaching down to pull me up.”

Jesus did pull Elena up, but not until she had basic-ally run as far away from Jesus as she could. The result, Elena tells us, is, “I was captured within Satan’s battlefield and my life became his playground.” The funny thing is, from an early age, Elena knew God had a purpose for her life. When she was still a kid, her father used to pay her to read self-help and business books to encourage her to make something out of herself when she grew up. Of course, she agreed because she wanted the money, but the books also sunk in, and eventually, they led to an extraordinary experience: “About the time I was fourteen God came to me and gave me a vision of being on stage, touching the lives of His children; and also, writing books.”

Most people spend their lives searching for their purposes, so God’s message was a true gift for Elena. Still, she let the world distract her from that purpose. She goes on to tell us, in often painful detail, how she was a misfit and outcast throughout middle and high school. She was also very attractive, but she never believed it. She had boys who were interested in her, but she also had boyfriends cheat on her; including with her best friend. She ended up changing schools and eventually dropped out before graduating. When she discovered sex, she became boy crazy, and eventually, that resulted in children, failed relationships, and all kinds of other complications.

More than once, God showed Elena that He was still there and watching over her. One man, in particular, seemed to hang around, almost as if God put him in her life to help her. However, she remained resistant to changing, going back and forth from God to chaos.

In time, Elena’s life started to turn around, but it was a long process. Whenever she took two steps forward, she was sure to find herself taking a step back. Sometimes, it got so bad that she became paranoid, anxious, and convinced that the devil was out to kill her. But even through the worst moments, she held on and turned back to God. Ultimately, she realized He was making her stronger so she could fulfill her purpose. As she honestly says, “The truth is that we do need to live a life of no sin, but for too long, I tried to do that on my own instead of allowing God to work things out in me in His own way and His time.” Truly, that she survived all these experiences must have been a miracle.

Elena also knows that no one will ever totally arrive at complete perfection. Even when she finally found the courage to live her purpose, the people closest to her began bringing up her past and asking, “Who do you think you are?” Hurt, but determined, she ignored them. “On my journey, none of Satan’s attacks were working. Yes, he knocked me down a lot of times, but so far, I had not quit. It is the abortion of our purpose that he desperately wants to see take place, but I refused to hand over a dead baby to him.”

Elena’s courage and honesty are inspiring. She is obviously not a saint, but a flawed human being, like the rest of us. The difference is she’s not afraid to bare her soul in her great desire to help us. In her imperfections and faults, we can all find hope and healing, knowing that we aren’t alone. Whatever readers’ religious or spiritual beliefs, everyone can benefit from her message in Tangled and Tormented of finding and holding on to your purpose against all odds.

— Tyler R. Tichelaar, Ph.D.,
Award-Winning Author of The Children of Arthur series

INTRODUCTION

“You can have your family and this town!
I am finished!
I hate you!”

There were no more tears left to cry. As my often-flowing tears dried up, helplessness consumed me. Anger and frustration filled me. My previous burning desire to be happy now felt out of my reach. I was tangled in emotions that were torturing my soul. My emotional pain turned physical, causing me frequently to wake up in too much pain to move. My body ached where no specialist could find anything wrong. I thought I would die of a broken heart.

This moment was just one more sad short story in the series that made up my life. How did my husband and I get here? Was this the man I had once loved? Who was he? Who was I? I felt tricked, lied to, and betrayed. The betrayal was real, yet unintentional. It was a betrayal out of being conditioned to push things under the rug—a betrayal that stemmed from avoidance.

As my last ditch effort to find a reason for this situation became pointless, I became emotionally irrational. The blanket that had once kept me warm and symbolized safety and security to me, suddenly transformed into my weapon of choice. I flew off the couch in a frustrated rage as I tried desperately to bomb my blanket at my husband’s head. I wanted him to feel the pain embodied deep within my soul. I wished the blanket were a two-ton truck about to smash him so he could experience the equivalent of my emotional pain. That blanket reiterated my emotions as I became tangled in and tormented by its grasp. It was the eyewitness to me behaving like a mix between a dedicated and determined ninja and a toddler throwing a tantrum on the grocery aisle floor. I slashed around, trying to make him feel my pain, but soon I would find myself sitting there, saying to myself, “I am foolish.”

As I begin to write my testimony, it is the sight of me tangled in that blanket that connects me to the emotions that tormented me for so many years—the emotions I felt from never fitting in—the emotions created by my uncertainty, insecurity, and sense of never being good enough. Little did I know, all my short stories would ultimately create my testimony.

You, the reader, will experience all my tangles and torments with me as you lick your finger and turn the pages. My desire is that, in the end, you will see my triumph. It was during one of my darkest, most painful nights that I prayed the prayer of helplessness that so many of us say, “God where are you?” In that moment, I saw myself in the pits of a dried up stone well sitting in my own dark misery. I looked up and saw Jesus’ lit face and His hand reaching down to pull me up.

If you are at the bottom of a dried up stone well, I encourage you to look up and reach out. Jesus is there waiting to pull you out. When you turn your story into your testimony, you are able to share with others in need that you are no longer tangled and tormented by your emotions, nor your circumstances. It is then that you become released by your testimony. Your testimony is like any story; it has a beginning, middle, and end. All the short stories that got you here today are the beginning of your testimony. As you begin to self-reflect and grow, you create your climax, preparing for your grand ending. This book is my beginning, my climax, and the beginning to my grand ending.

As you read my story, I encourage you to think about your own past, about your own trials, tribulations, mistakes, and failures. The liberty that comes from learning to embrace your past, instead of hiding from it in shame, is like no other. Through writing this book, I have learned that I am not my past, my trials, tribulations, mistakes, nor failures. Throughout my life, many people have tried desperately to hold me in my past and continuously punish me for my shortcomings by beginning their sentences to me with, “Remember when…” or “But you did this,” or even spreading gossip about my shortcomings to those they meet. Their behavior has caused me to spend most of my life shutting my past out in order to ignore my shame and avoid arguments with those who tried to force me into shame. However, writing my testimony for all to read has set this captive free, allowing me now to live my truth, knowing that God’s plan has never been to have any of us walk in shame. I can now embrace my past, hold my head high, and feel no shame because I know I am a conquer.

My deepest prayer and ultimate mission for this book is to have it inspire you to shed your shame by first embracing and then conquering your past.

                                     Elena Rahrig

CONTENT

Foreword
Introduction
The Clay Pot
Miss Misfit
Raised to Be Different
What Became of Me?
Transformation Begins
Reverting
The Beginning of My New Life
A Busted Nose
Reunited
Unacceptance
Honeymoon Baby
Trying to Find My Place
It’s All Been Taken Away
The Aftermath
Valuable Lessons
A Door Opens
Party Girl
Building Transform
Pregnant with Purpose
Who Am I Today?
A Letter to My 9-Year-Old Self
Words of Encouragement & Truth
Appendix A 100 Things I Love
Appendix B 100 Things I Hate
About the Author
About Transform International

INTRODUCTION

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

                          –  Maya Angelou

Such a profound and powerful statement!  When we live according to this truth we will become rapidly successful. When our actions and words make others feel good they desire to make us feel good in return; which points to the truth of “We reap what we sow.”

Although a powerful statement, there is a lesson on communication within what she has said that is more than the meaning of the quote. If we turn our focus to the first 2 words she states: “I’ve learned”. When we speak we want to make sure that our words are soft.  Misrepresented words and phrases leaves others assuming the worst. Just as our minds are conditioned to dwell on the negative more than the positive so does our mind operate when making assumptions about others.

For instance, if I say “I have learned” it can come across to someone as I am smarter, I am wiser, and You should know this too. As soon as you hit a nerve within someone they immediately shut down, stop listening, and start judging whether or not they like you. Once they begin to judge and lean towards not liking you they will begin to turn to look for the worst in you from there on out. Same is true if you begin your sentence with a feel good relatable statement they begin to see the best in you and look for more ways to like you and engage with you. What if we instead say, “I am learning”? This phrase has the same positive impact as “I’ve learned” but negates the negative impact that “I’ve learned” can have.

This, my friend, is the art of Phraseology.

Phraseology:
A manner in which something is expressed, experienced, or done; especially one characteristic of a particular speaker or writer.

Now that we have learned the phraseology within the phrase “I’ve learned” verses “I am learning” let’s take a look at some other phrases and words that are widely used and can lead to misinterpreted expression and experience.

CONTENT

Introduction: Words Matter
I’ll Try
Kind Of
So
Me, Myself, and I
You vs We
You’re Wrong
I’ll Let You
But
No
The
What’s Wrong with This Advertising Email?
Body Language
What’s Next
About the Author
What I Do & My Accomplishments